How do you spend your Friday nights......

I bet I have a new one for most of you.....

I spent last night(Friday) at a Mennonite farm with Doug. He got a call that he needed to come out and look at this cow that had a possible right side twist. Layman's terms means part of the "stomach" (rumon) area had flipped and he would need to go in and fix it.

So we pull up to the farm and there are several buggies around and it's your average Mennonite farm. I still get excited about these people, mostly because they live so differently from me. The nice thing about Mennonite's is that some of them have electricity. This is great when you are talking about surgery on a cow. Imagine doing that by candle light since it was already dark out. So we go in and talk with the guy and Doug decides that we do in fact have to do surgery. The farmer asked if he needed to stay, because if not, he needed to ride up the road and would be back in about 15 minutes. Obviously, he wasn't going far in his buggy. Doug tells him that we can handle it and so he heads out. Let me back up for a moment. There are a few things that you need to know about this setting; a) we are in a tie stale barn(basically there are lots of cows in a long row of stales tied to bar so they can't get out and not much space between them) b) there are two dogs trying to get into all our stuff and c) the guys wife is there watching with her 6 month old baby in a stroller in between the two rows of cows. So back to the story. So the guy leaves and his wife and two dogs are still there, and Doug starts doing his thing. I am there hanging out and trying to help Doug draw up meds and do anything I can to help. The next thing I know, the farmers wife is gone and there sits the 6 month old in the stroller with the dogs licking all over her.

Now two things are going through my mind at the same time. The first of which is when he said "we need to run up the road and will be back in 15 minutes", I hope this did not mean his wife too, because if so, they FORGOT THE BABY! And the other thought is the two dogs, that obviously spend their time in with the cows, are licking this child's face. Now I am sure that when we have kids that our dogs are going to lick them, it happens all the time, but these dogs have been playing in manure. This can not be a good thing for the kid. Well, after what felt like forever, the woman finally comes back and then leaves and then comes back, repeat, repeat. Finally when we started the actually surgery, she decided to stick around. I guess she was just interested to see what was going on.

Overall, it was a very interesting experience! Got to help Doug out, which I actually find fun to do. Even when that means holding a cows tail straight up in the air so that it can't kick Doug while he cuts a huge whole in it's side. Large animal surgery is an interesting thing, we did it right there in the barn, with the cow stand up, and no way to keep it "sterile". Not something that would ever flying in human medicine, which I am used too. And I did talk with the lady for a bit, when Doug didn't need me, which I find intriguing.

I am sure as time goes on, there will be plenty more of these stories, so stay tuned.....

Do you like your boss......

As I stated in my previous post, I really enjoy my job and love my boss, and here is why......

How many times, in the same week, has your boss; taken you to lunch(and paid), told you not to do something, that she would do it herself because you hurt your shoulder, and then later decided to massage your shoulders to try and help with the pain? Well, I can now say, I have.

Beth might just be the most down to earth boss, besides myself, of course. I had a really great boss at my last job too, don't get me wrong. I guess now that I think about it, I have been lucky lately in that department. The past two weeks have supposedly been stressful for Beth. I told her last week that if this was her stressed out, then I can handle that. I haven't even seen her break a sweat over anything. She is the most relaxed "stressed" person I have ever met.

For the above fore mentioned statement.....We had a large shipment of training books arrive in the office Tuesday that had to be sorted and moved to the locations of the training. We spent two hours Tuesday afternoon sorting through everything and re-labeling them. I felt a little stiff after the next morning but not horrible. Then on Wednesday I received another huge shipments of boxes with last years PSSA test scores. They too had to be sorted and then sent out to the schools. When I woke up Thursday morning, it was all over. I felt like an eight year old woman! So of course when I got to work on Thursday everyone could tell that something was up by the way I was walking. Since I was supposed to be going to the schools, to make sure that everything was set up for the afternoon training, my boss told me to sit in my chair and do nothing. Well nothing that would hurt me any worse. I tried to explain that it wasn't that bad and I would be okay, but she left to do it herself. I felt really bad that she went and worried that it looked bad that I wasn't useful, but I found out when she got back that was not the case. When Beth got back she came to check on me and see how my back was doing and decided that she would try to massage my shoulders to help(the pain was in my upper left shoulder)! Then she told me that since I had been working so hard, to make sure that everything was going as planned, she was going to take me to lunch on Friday.

It was a nice lunch too. I learned a lot about her personally and her family. It was just the two of us, hanging out, getting to know each other. Like I said she is down to earth. We hardly talked about the office at all. She was very interested to learn things about where I came from and what brought Doug and I here. I think all in all I am really going to like working for her.

Ps. After spending the evening laying on a heating pad and then Doug doing a little messaging my shoulders are doing great.

The all inspiring, uninspired......

The hardest thing about starting over is that you usually know little to nothing about the journey in which you are about to embark. It's the same for starting over in a new location, job, or even relationship. We all make the choice at some point in our life to start a new path.

I have hit the "trifecta" of starting over; new location, new job, and new relationships. Obviously, to anyone who knows me, the location is our move to PA. We have been here for about three months now and I can't say it feels anymore like home than it did on day 7. I thought that getting back in to a normal way of life would make it feel more like me, more like home. I don't know if it will ever feel like home but at some point it has to feel "normal", right? Part of my normal life would be the fact that we get up and go to work everyday. Some work from home and some of us drive to a location, but we work. It's the normal, constant, in life. I made the statement one day, " I don't think I will ever feel settled until I get a job."

I have been at the school district for two weeks, and I have to say that I am loving my job. There is a lot of independence, which is something that I love, no employees to deal with. No phone calls on Monday morning at 6am with someone telling me that they are not coming to work, or their child is sick. And when that person calls in, there is no me having to do their job as well as mine. No pettiness between employees that I have to squish. It is quite refreshing! I also happen to love my boss. We have a lot of the same views of life. For one, life is too short to take it too serious. This always makes it easy to work with someone when they are not consumed in making everything overly serious and never able to enjoy the beauty of life. Sometimes you just have to stop and smell the roses and watch the rainbow light up the sky after a storm. If you stress over everything that is thrown at you, you will never enjoy the full joy of the big picture. Now, I know that it has only been two weeks, but it still has that lost feeling. You know the feeling that you have no idea what's really going on. The time when everything seems to be perfect and you can't or haven't seen the cracks in the walls yet. That's where I am. I know that at some point this will feel more natural, the light will start to shine through the cracks and true personalities will shine. The good thing is, this is supposidly our busy/stressful time and if that's the case then I can handle this. Comparitively to what I have dealt with in the past this is a piece of cake if this is the busy season.

I have meet a lot people at work, but there is that longing for my friends. It's funny, since moving away from everyone I have ever known, I now look at people as potiental friends when I meet them. It's kind of funny I suppose, kind of like going on a date, the whole time you are trying to see if there is long term potiental there or not. I miss my friends, especially in times such as needing a shopping buddy, or wanting to go see a chick flick. And I find making new friends a trying and awkard situation sometimes. I don't know why it's weird for me, I guess some people are just better at it. At least Doug agress with me that it is a weird thing sometimes. I mean other than work, where do you meet people? Or atleast people that you will become friends with, since you can meet just "people" on the street corner. Then there is the factor that everyone, seriously everyone, I know here has kids. I mean I kind of feel like maybe we should start a family and join the crowd you know.......

The new jig.......

After my well enjoyed two month sabbatical, I have a new J O B!

I went for an interview last Thursday at the Cental Office for the Shippenburg Area School District. It was interesting to find, since coming from NC, that they do not have county schools around here. Everything is by area and there are 508 area school districts in PA. The job that I am accepting is Secretary to the Assistant Superintendent. Basically I will be her personal assistant.

After talking with her on the phone last Monday, she offered me the job and asked if we could meet yesterday so that we could go over my contract and details. It was a very pleasant meeting, I got to see my new desk and meet some of the people that we will be working with. They all seem very nice and can't wait for the everyday adult enteraction. Being a social person that has been the hardest part about my sabbatical, not talking to people all day long. I am excited that the girl who's desk is in the same room as me is around my age and seemed pretty cool. It's hard not having any of your friends around, like when I needed to go shopping for work clothes yesterday, and there was no one to call. Hopefully this will be a good oppritunity to make new friends.

Funny story about the Superintendent's secretary: she took her daughters dog to the vet last Friday. She knew that Doug was a vet so she asked where and then what he looked like. When she realized that's who treated her daughters dog, she started telling my how attractive my husband was. The funniest part was when she realized that she had only met me 5 minutes ago and she was talking about him. She immediately started apologizing and telling me that she didn't hit on him, just that he was really nice. It made me laugh, even though she had no idea that I wasn't worried about her hitting on my husband. I tried to make her feel better by saying it wasn't the first time and at least she was paying money.

So I am excited to start my new job, ready to get my feet wet. Although there is no training for the job, I think I can handle it. I know one of my first task will be making a master calendar of all the schools facuilty meetings so that I can schedule Beth's meetings with department heads, ect. Beth is my new boss, the new Asst. Super. She has only been there a couple of weeks, which makes me feel a little better, because she has no expectations of what's supposed to happen, anymore than I do, so we will be learning together. The down fall is that I have to be there at 7 am on Tuesday. Durning the summer they work "summer" hours which is 7 to 4:15 with Fridays off and then during the school year it is 8 to 3:30. Not bad, it's full time and I only have to work a 7 hour work day. I am telling you it is the job for me, Monday thru Friday and only 7 hours a day! I am such a slacker.

So that's the jist, the pay is not six figures, but hey we can't all be millionaires! Right?

Just an update....

Warning....not the most interesting blog ever written!

I know that there are people who follow this blog that I have unfortunately not been in constant contact with, so really this is just an update for you.

Things are going well for Doug and I in PA. I had the chance to spend two wonderful weeks in NC. One of which I was at my church's camp. If I have never told you this, I love that place. It is the place that I have spent almost ever Fourth of July since I was eight years old. It is the place I met Doug and then later got engaged there as well. (maybe we should have had the wedding there too) There are more memories made at this place than I could ever really tell you about. One of the reasons I love this so much is the kids. It makes me happy to know that maybe in some small way, in this crazy and wicked world, that I will have a positive effect on these kids. That maybe something I have said or done will inspire them to go out and be better people. Not only do I spend my time teach them, but I am also learning. In order to teach them I have to know what I am talking about, which means countless hours preparing, reading my Bible, and contemplating what to say. I even, thanks to my sister, got up and did morning watch at 7:30 am. And if you know me at all, you know the last thing I ever want to do is, have to give a speech at 7:30 am. I don't even like talking to anyone until I have been awake for an hour. It was one of the best groups and weeks we have had there.

The rest of my trip was spent visiting with family and friends all over NC. I managed to drive somewhere around 1500 miles in that time period. At least it was in Doug's car, right? Just kidding honey! I spent more time with my mom and sister than I did when I was living in Raleigh. No worries, I do love my brother and saw him, he just doesn't come to camp with us. At least not yet, maybe I will start working on that for next year. It was great to have a solid week of being in the same place all the time with many members of my family. I think that I am related to half the counselors at camp. I also got to visit some friends, and some I am sad that I missed. I realized that it will be hard to continue to see people when I go home. There is just not enough hours in the day. I was exhausted after being there for three days, running none stop.

Now that I am back home, here in PA, I have to start my job hunt. Not something that I am looking forward to. One because I am really enjoying my housewife job and two because it means that I am really staying and this is happening. Not that that's a bad thing, it's just felt more like a vacation than a home. On the up side of my job situation, the sooner I get one, the sooner we will likely be able to buy a house. I am excited that we have an appointment with the bank next week, so we can get this ball rolling.

Doug's job is going well. Although I wouldn't ask him at the end of this week, he may say otherwise. There will be lots of hours put in this week. I think that for the most part he is settling right in. And he really seems to enjoy it. Which, I might add, is great. Otherwise, I might hurt him if we moved all the way here and he didn't like it.

Well that's about it...for now! Thanks for following!

Time flies when you are having fun.....

"Time flies when you are having fun" I am not sure who the original author of that statement is, but they hit the nail on the head. I think that many people would agree that when you have a week off for vacation it just never seems like it last a week. Well, I have the same problem with my sabbatical, as I like to call it. I had planned on taking a little over a month off before trying to find a job. This seems like a fair amount of time, except that I have already been through three weeks of that time. I was sure that after a month of not working I would be going crazy to get out of the house. The sad truth is, I am loving it. I get so much done and don't feel like I spend all of my time rushed and not getting to enjoy any of it. I say "sad truth" because I have to get a job, so my husband tells me. He has been gracious enough to let me go this long, but there are things in life that we want, i.e. not to be poor anymore, oh and buy a house. It's another one of those bittersweet moments I seem to keep having in my life. I want so much to buy a house, as in yesterday, but I don't want to get a job. What's a girl to do?

Everything else is going well. I am excited about my trip to NC next week. I will be there for two weeks! One of which will be my church camp. I am really excited about camp for many reasons. One, the obvious, because it's camp. And two, because my mom and sister will be there, which means I can spend hours on end with them everyday. Now if I could only get my brother involved in this!?! (Humm....note to self, work on that) My plan is to be in NC a few days before camp and then a few days after. And I have a sneaky suspition that those will be some full days of traveling and seeing many different people. There are a lot of people to see in a small amount of time. Thankfully, many of the people I want to see will be with me for the entire week of camp. I am a little of affraid, that after two weeks, it will be hard to come back. Good thing I love my husband and will miss him dearly.

You know it's actually kind of odd, I am okay! I know that seems odd to say, but I thought I would have this crazy mental breakdown being so far away, but it hasn't happened. I am actually happy (which I am glad about). Maybe I just built up all this anxiety about it before the move that it could not live up to my standards. It also helps that the people we know here (Doug's coworkers) have been super nice to invite us to many events. We have been to birthday parties, church events, and they handled me well during the imfamous dog event. I think I had about six new mom's that day. Which is great when you know no one, you are in shock, your hands are bleeding and you can not find your husband. Some how through that whole mess, they don't think I am crazy. Doug keeps telling them I am but they won't listen(kidding......maybe).

So all in all, just an update, that life is still good!

Yankee Doodle Dandy.....

We have arrived!

Doug and I have spent our first week here in Pennsylvania. We drove up on Sunday, May 31st, along with my in-laws and my brother (and his family). The drive up was not bad, minus the cat jumping on the dashboard in front of me, she rode the rest of the way in the carrier. It went pretty quickly, I recommend listening to audio books on long drives, it makes the time go faster. It was great to have some family with us for our first few days in PA. They got to see our new place and some of the sites around the city and country side.

Once the family left, on Tuesday, we made the rest of the week pretty productive. We got PA car insurance, new drivers license, and my tag changed on my car. I guess it is official, I am a PA resident, no longer a North Carolinian. We also spent a lot of time driving around, getting to know the area and looking for houses for sale. The duplex we live in, in town, is a temporary stop until we buy a house. It's weird living in the city like this, you only have to walk down three steps out my front door and you are on the sidewalk. There is also a lot traffic on our road. I think people like using our road to avoid all the stop lights on main street. We are only two blocks off main street, aka King Street. It will be nice once we buy a house to get out of the city, where things are a little more quiet. One thing we have to get use to in the mean time is that the trash man comes in the middle of the night on Sundays. When I say middle of the night, they came around 3 am last night! I am glad they only come once a week since it is not something I can sleep through. Who know trash trucks were so loud?

For the most part week one felt a lot like a vacation. Neither one of us working, and no where in particular to be. Today marks my first day as a temporary stay at home wife. Doug started work today, so I have been entertaining my self all alone. It's kind of weird. I am used to Doug having time off during the summers where I would go to work while Doug stayed home. So that will take some getting used to. I say it is a temporary stay at home because once I get back from NC at the beginning on July I have to get a job. The sooner I get a job the sooner we can buy a house, since we need money. In the meantime, it will be nice to not have a clock to punch everyday.

Ps. I have put some pics of our place up on facebook and will try to get pictures uploaded to flickr soon! Stay tuned for more on our adventure in Pennsylvania!

Oh, there's my brick wall....

I can see the silhouette forming in the distance. The shadowy outline, of the my mystical imagination, that will change my life. I have prepared my mind to stand before it and only one question remains. Do you embrace it or turn and run?

For months I have told the same story. The story of my new adventure luming on the horizon. And I am excited. The world has so much to offer, and we, have but the choice to live it. Living with a wild imagination, as I do, there are endless possibilities. I imagine how things will be, the colorful world that I will immerse myself with in. Yet, there is my flaw that stops me. My fear of the unknown. The further I walk on my journey the more I realize that I am the only thing getting in the way. I have held on to this idea of what my life would be like for so long that I sometimes block out what my life has really become. It is simply, wonderful. The more I realize this one true fact, the more the sun begins to shine down on me. The brighter the sun shines, the silhouette becomes more clear. It is not a brick wall that I once thought, it is a door that I stand before. A choice. The door that holds my future, and the key resting in my palm.

I do fear this door somedays. Affraid to touch the knob as though it is firy hot. Affraid to get burned. Or what if the key doesn't fit. How long I have walked to be rejected and it not be opened unto me. And if I choose the wrong door, if I missed a step or a turn along the way. So many possibilities of what stands on the other side. But there is one thing I know to be true. If I never step through the threshold, I will never know what could have been.

5 Weeks and Counting....

Just a quick update on the everyday life of The Ray's.

So Doug graduates 2 weeks from tomorrow (Saturday). Man, the past four years have flown by. We were talking tonight and it seems like yesterday when we found out he got accepted and now he is graduating. It's been a fun ride and I have made a lot of great friends along the way. When people used to say, "it will fly by", I kind of thought "no way"! 2009 seemed so far out of reached and now here we are.

I have 5 weeks and counting left, living and working in the state of North Carolina. I have to say, if you asked four years ago, where I would be in 5 years, it would not have been Pennsylvania. I am excited about this step though. It's just funny to me how things change so much in that amount of time. I was never planning to move to Raleigh and I did, then I was planning on moving right back to AC and now I'm not, and then I have a 2-5 year plan to be in PA, so we will see where that plan ends up. I beginning to think there is much sound in my planning, or at least the follow through. But I am happy where my life is and excited to take this step. I feel a very "green" life in my future.

We will also be celebrating our 5th anniversary in three weeks! Of course, since we are going to the beach after graduation, we will be celebrating our anniversary with 16 or so of our closest friends. Not a bad way to celebrate I suppose. It does seem odd, that if we stick to the 5 year end of the plan, I could be celebrating my 10th anniversary in PA. Wow, that's kinda scary. I don't know which is scarier; that I will be in PA still or my 10th anniversary. That just makes me feel old already. It is hard to believe sometimes that Doug and I have been together almost 7 years. Where does the time go? And how have I put up with that boy this long (that's for you honey)!?!

Well, other than all the packing and planning, that pretty much sums it up. Although, this has all been keeping me plenty busy. And I am sure with all the school events in the next two weeks, I will not be bored anytime soon.

As always, thanks for following my sometimes thoughtful, sometimes random blog. (and ignoring all my grammatical mistakes)

26 years of life.......

Emotions run deep with surreal feeling of everything the past 26 years have given me. I feel oddly emotional and thankful for the fact that tomorrow I will celebrate my 26th birthday. I am not normally one who thinks much about getting older. It is a simple fact of life. However, I cannot help but to be thankful for all the things God has granted me...

When I look at the world we live in, sometimes I wonder how my life ever turned out like it has. I do not measure success in the amount of money I bring to the table, but with the amount of love and experience that has been afforded to me. In a world full of chaos, deceit and poverty, I have conquered Everest. I have waded through the deep and dark to rise above and see the sun. I have walked a long and narrow path, with the love my mother taught me, to carry me through. I have drowned in the sea of worry to break free of the surface and hold my head up high. It is with the grace of God, my family and friends that I am who I am today. Thank you to all who have touched my life in one way or another.

As thankful as I am to the gift of fortune, I am still sadden with those who struggle. The heartbreak of those who will never see 26 years. I am weighted with pain for the Mullis'. They sit in silence and struggle for their son's life everyday. Ethan Mullis, not even 2 months old, has fought for more in his life time, than has ever been asked of me. So for my birthday, as a gift for me, I ask that you pray that he may see 26 and beyond. Pray that he have the chance to live a full and happy life that I have lived. Financial times are tough, but this is one gift anyone can afford, whether you know the family or not.

Learn more about Ethan and his struggle for life at Signs of Life
http://joyemullis.blogspot.com/

On a happier note, thank you all for the birthday wishes and cards thus far! It means a lot to have such wonderful friends in my life!!! The world would be the same with out you.

Things fall apart....

Why is it that we are so close to the end and everything seems to fall apart?

I have to say that I am over a lot of things recently. For instance, my oven. Granted, I do live in a rental so I could have possibly gotten this fixed, but it such a pain to have to deal with our landlord/rental agent, that it hardly seemed worth my time to get this fixed so close to moving out. Now after trying to bake five simple pork chops for almost an hour, I am tempted to have an "office space" moment with the stupid thing. It has been on the fritz for a bit now, but it's becoming a pain in my side. I just want to eat dinner, is that such a hard thing to ask. Oh, of course, that seems to be the answer at hand, "Yes"! It is refusing to cook things as it should. So now here I sit, ranting on my blog, about the annoying inconvenience.

And then there is the dryer. Oh the dryer. This unfortunately belongs to me, so there is no one but myself to pay for this faulty machine. When we moved here from AC, Doug did want to pay to have a gas hook up installed in a rental property. At the time this made sense. Now I think I have spent more money in electric bills, than it would have cost to install it, I regret the decision. We traded dryers with my sister in law so that we could have an electric. My nice, large capacity, gas dryer is long gone. In it's place, a smaller, electric one that takes up to three cycles these days to dry clothes. That is, if it doesn't decided to stop for no apparent reason.

All the while, we are so close to moving and major shortage of cash, so I am stuck. Stuck in this impending Hell of machines that refuse to see my point of view. I just want dry clean clothes and dinner on my table. I suppose I should be thankful that I have the clothes or the food at all, but it is hard to see that, when suffering from my lack of "status quo"

PS. Thanks for being such a trooper to read my babbling annoyance at the modern day technology!

Dynamic Water.....

As most of you know or have read, my brother is in the process of trying to drill a well in Kenya. I very much support the efforts to bring clean water to those in need. Water is the very essence of all things taken for granted.

So I just wanted to write a little spot for him that the website is up and you should go check it out! It is still in production, but you can see what all is going on. A heads up that there will soon be an online "yard sale" in which all profits will go towards the money needed to drill. I will post more about that when the details are set. Please go to the website and check it out. And think to yourself how different life would be, if everyday you walked miles carrying whatever container you can find, just to reach dirty water for survival. Water that is infested with Giardia and God knows what other diseases. Imagine if you spent everyday watching your child never grow, and suffer in immense pain. These kids are lucky if they even still have parents. Think about the good life you have when you lay your head down on your pillow tonight and go to sleep.

I know we all think times are tight right now, that the economy is poor and we are in a recession. But what if there were never an economy, never house to call your own, and never a drop of clean water to quench your thirst. We can all do something, or continue to detach ourselves from the world we live in.

Go and see what could be...... Dynamic Water

Strange things happen in the middle on the night.....

I thought I would share this funny story. It's had my laughing to myself all day.

Sometime in the middle of the night, last night, I was dreaming as usual. I have no idea what was going on in that head of mine, but I did something I have never done before. The funniest thing is, I remember doing part of it, but not everything.

Doug and I were sleeping peacefully, well at least he was, until I jerked his pillow from under neath his head. I remember try to pull really hard on the pillow but it wouldn't come out! I guess somewhere in there it finally gave way. I only remember the struggle and then a second later Doug was asking me what the heck I was doing. His story is that I took the pillow and when he awoke I had it over my head and then dropped it on my face. I guess that's what woke me. The next thing I know is that I was sitting up and knew that it was his pillow. So I said "sorry", handed back to him, rolled over and went back to sleep.

Sometimes I wish I had a video camera, this would have been hilarious to see. Now I just wish I could remember the dream and why it prompted me to steal his pillow. If nothing else, we had a great laugh about the story this afternoon when we got home from work. Still, just thinking about it makes me smile.

Strange things happen in the middle of the night....at least when you sleep with me!

Battling my addiction.....

When you think about "addiction" a few things come to mind; drugs, gambling, sex. I have always been proud to say that I have never done any drugs in my entire life. These days that seems like a life time of accomplishments compared to the amount of people who have either experimented or used drugs for a period of time in their life. I never realized, until this week, that I do in fact have a drug addiction. The problem with my "drug" of choice, is that it is perfectly legal to consume as much of it as I would like. You see it everywhere, and for the change in your pocket it can be yours. No one looks at you wrong for doing it, whether you are in public or the privacy of your home. It has absolutely no harmful effect on anyone around you, no matter how close they may sit. It does care what your age is. My addiction comes in the form of Dr. Pepper. This seems silly enough, right? That you ask, why not just stop?

After a recent trip to the doctor, I found that my extremely high intake of caffeine seems to be the likely culprit of some unwanted cysts. Though the pain is minimum from the cysts, the pain caused by the lack of caffeine in my body is earth shattering. The first few days were not so bad. I took a trip to the store, to check out the soda isle. I knew that water is not really an option for my taste buds and Sprite is caffeine free. After a little investigating, I found that I can drink Sprite Zero or Diet 7-Up and have some taste with out caffeine or calories. I was actually very excited about the no calories. (It will help out along with the treadmill, to slimming down some) I knew that stopping "cold turkey" was not going to work. I have experienced the caffeine withdrawal headaches before and knew this was not fun. So my plan; try to cut back to two a day for a bit, then one a day, then none. Here we are on day five and the temptation to give up is pounding in my head, literally. Yesterday I tried out the "one" theory. I started my day with one 16 ounce bottle. It took me all day to drink it, and was pretty gross by the end, but I was savoring it. After a long day, I finally arrived home around 9:45 last night, still only one soda. The headache had gotten so bad that the lights from the cars around my on my drive from Alamance County to Raleigh had me wishing for solid darkness. The only thing I could think was God please get me home where I can hide in the darkness. I could have stopped at any point and bought a drink, but I can't bring my self to break my promises now. I will not buy any extra, I have a certain amount here to help with the weaning process. When I finally made it home last night, I grab a big glass of Dr. Pepper, three Ibuprofen and went straight to bed. I could even think to look at my computer to check my email. Unfortunately, the headache is still lingering, but I am fighting to kick this crazy addiction. My only guess is that the amount in my system is so low compared to the last 8 years or so, that even one or two a day is not enough to ease the withdrawal pain. Who ever knew, that something with "doctor" in it's name, could be so bad?

My first minor breakdown.....

Unfortunately, my minor break down last night has nothing to do with my car.....

I have never denied the fact that I am an anxious person. And if I'm being completely honest, a bit obsessive when it comes to having everything planned out and in order. (I like to have "my ducks in a row" I guess you could say!) Last night the evil moisture began to flow from my eyes. I am not really sure why and glad that it was only for a few moments. I think it just really started to sink in that this is real. No matter how much you plan for something, it's that pivotal moment when the curtain opens and you realize that the stage is real. You are no longer standing in the background, rehearsing yours lines over and over. Making that leap of faith and finally saying "YES" after months of anticipation felt like someone turning the spotlight on and I no longer know what my opening lines were supposed to be. We did in fact accept the offer in Shippensburg, which meant making the dreadful call to Rome to tell them "NO". I couldn't help but feel horrible for Doug, for many different reasons. The first, simply for having to have the uncomfortable conversation with someone who has tried so hard to get you to the place they are. Ben and his family have been nothing, if not wonderful, during the whole process. To have to turn them down, was like having to be the bearer of bad news to someone you care deeply about. I know that seems odd to people, being that we have only known them on brief occasions, but they truly are that wonderful. And knowing that, if not for me, that is the place that Doug would have chosen for himself, was tough to swallow. That is one of the million reasons why I love my husband to the depth of my soul, he never once thought of himself, before deciding what was better for me. He's pretty impressive I'd say! (although, he would never admit it(you know I'm right))

The reality and emotion that comes with the fact that by saying "YES" means living the furthest away from my family, than I ever have before, well that I feel is self-explanatory! Like I said, a minor breakdown, and then I realized that I need this. I need to go out and live my life. Rather than saying I live. Carpe Diem is not one of my favorite quotes for no reason, so this is me, taking that step and seizing the day!

The original album cover.....

Here it is.....


So two things, 1) I wanted to share the original cover art for the album. Since it is no longer going on the cover, I am okay sharing it. No worries, my handy work will still be on the front and back cover of the album, just not this picture. 2) I did the final shoot this weekend for this project (I think). Soon the website will be up and I will share it. We took a ton of profile pictures this weekend that will go on the site, so I would love for you to see my hard work, so stay tune for that. Plus I will most likely be posting them on Flickr!

Offer....

I had stated in my blog about Shippensburg, that Amy and Trent had told Doug that he was there number 1, but they had one more interview to do on Thursday (yesterday).

Well, Doug got a call from Trent last night offering him the job. I had not really expected to hear from them until early next week since they were interviewing the last person this week. Much to my surprise, we got the call. On the way home from PA, Doug and I were talking and had pretty much decided that Shippensburg is where we wanted to call home for a few years and now it looks like that is the case. We have not given them a final answer yet, but that is to come very soon, I believe. We do still have an offer on the table from Rome, but as I have told Doug, I don't feel like that is the right place for me to be, for many reasons. It is sad only because they are such nice people and are willing to do whatever it takes for us to come there.

It is good to finally feel like I know where we are headed. This means that we can move on to the next steps in this process. Finding a house, setting my last day of work, packing, ect. It does seem a little bitter-sweat at the moment. I am very excited about this offer and happy to be making this move in our life together. However, it is sad to know that in a very few months, 2 to be exact, I will be moving the furthest I have ever lived from my family. I know that people do it all the time, it was just never something I saw happening in my life. Although, through the sadness, I am ready to take this step. After many years of living a "college" lifestyle, I feel like we are making "adult" decisions and moving forward. I hear that my mom and mother in law are already making plans for weekend trips. That's very exciting to hear, I wasn't sure if anyone would really come up and visit us or not. I guess only time will tell.

It is also exciting that several of our other friends from vet school are going to be living in the north east, some within a few hours of us. Maybe we will not lose touch with everyone. There are some staying in Raleigh as well, so there will always be visiting options when we come home to visit NC. Although we will be away for a while, have no fear, NC will always be home to me. They say home is where the heart is, right!

Stay tuned for more updates on our move....

Pictures from Pennsylvania....

Just wanted to share that I have posted pictures from our trip to Pennsylvania on flickr....

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lesrayphoto/

feel free to check them out.

Sweet Presley.....

When my nephew was born almost two years ago, my brother and sister-in-law were in Florida at the time, so I was not able to meet him until probably a week later when they got home. Well, wouldn't you know that again, I missed the birth of my brother's child. His daughter, Presley, was born the day I left to head to Pennsylvania. She was born at 12:55-ish am, Wednesday, March 11. She was 8 lbs and 12 oz.

Since we did not get home until later last night, I went to meet her today for the first time. She is cute as a button. I may be a little partial! Of course, Doug says that they all look like babies, which means they all look the same to him. Presley seems to be doing very well. She likes to eat and sleep which are both great for a newborn. It is a little sad that we will be moving away soon and she will not really know who I am. You know how it is with kids, if they do not see you often, they really don't have anything to do with you when you are around. But she can get to know me better when we move back. I like them when they are a little older anyway. Kind of like Jalen and Abby's age, when they can talk, run around, and not wear diapers.

Home sweet home...

After many hours of (Doug) driving, we are back home! It's so good to see the dogs, I really missed them while we were gone. And from there reaction I think they missed us. I feel fairly certain that they also very much enjoyed their guest that came to visit. Thanks so much to all of you who helped watch the dogs for us. It's so good to have great friends!

Now that we are back, Doug and I have a big decision to make about where we are going to be spending the next few years. The great thing is, I can see myself in PA and I liked the people. This was a concern that I had, since I had never been there. Of course, I will miss all of our family and friends here, but I also think there will be great opportunity to make new friends as well. I am hopefully that in the next few weeks I will be able to tell you exactly where you can come and visit us, come June!

Day Three, Shippensburg, PA

After having dinner is Rome on Thursday night, we started heading to the "flat lands" of Shippensburg, PA. It funny how people in the northern part of the state call this the flat lands, when really it's like the NC mountains. Of course, they also call the mountains they live in the "Hills". We arrived in Carlisle, PA around 1am and got a hotel for the night. It was only about 30 minutes to Shippensburg, but we were both beat and Doug's eye kept wanting to close. Since we had to stop for me to use the bathroom, we decided to go ahead and get a room.

This morning we arrived at Mountain View Animal Hospital, or something to that effect, around 11 am. Compared to the facilities in Rome, this is state of the art. I got to meet all of the staff here at the clinic, I think, since Dr. Amy was doing small animal today. They ordered lunch from a locale cafe and had it delivered to the clinic. After lunch we headed out with one of the vets Aaron and his wife Sarah. They showed Doug and I around most of the area north of the clinic. It was nice to have a tour guide for the second day. Aaron showed us all kind of real estate and prices on some of the house for sell. He also showed us some rental property. There are several towns and cities around with things to do. Unlike Rome there is a target about 15-20 minutes down the road, depending on where we would be living. There are also apparently several doctors around, with some specialty clinics in Carlisle and Chambersburg, both with in the 20-ish minute range.

After spending the day driving around the country side, we meet back up at the clinic with Amy and Trent. Amy and Trent are the two owners of the practice and are also married to each other. They took us out to dinner, along with Aaron and Sarah, to a nice restaurant in Chambersburg. Since we had not been down to Chambersburg, we took a tour of the city. On the way back we were all talking about Amy told us that Doug was there number one right now. This is really good news! They do have one more interview on Thursday, but Trent says he wasn't very impressed with the phone interview, so he is not expecting much from the working interview. This is also really good news! So I guess there could be an offer from here coming the end of next week. I would like to go ahead and nail down where we are going to be living. I also really like it here, and it is only about 5-6 hours from home instead of 11 hours from Rome to NC. So hopefully this girl will suck just as much as she did on the phone and they will offer the job to Doug. I can see myself living here, which will make it sad if they do not offer us the job. Plus they were offering the most money too! They also offered to let us stay here tonight so that we didn't have to pay for a hotel. So of course we took them up on the offer and now Doug is out on a call with Trent since this is his weekend on call. Hopefully he is out there impressing Trent some more so he can stay number 1.

All in all this has been a good trip and fun times. Oh, I almost forgot, I meet my first Amish man today. It was interesting. Since the weather was nice they were all out and about today. I got to see lots of horse and buggies, even one in town. This is definitely Amish country.

Day Two, Rome, PA.....

Upated on our travels.....

Thursday morning we got up and drove down to Roma, PA. On the 2000 census, Rome's population was 382. There were more than 382 people that I went to high school with. So when we got to Rome Vet Center around 10am to meet up with Ben and his father Don.

We spent the day riding around and working with Dr. Don. He is the senior vet in the clinic. (Ben has been out of vet school since 07) I have to say that the people there are very nice. Don took us around on his farm calls. Doug got to do a DA surgery with Don on a cow, checked on a pregnant horse, and went to check on two goats that had been de-horned that were living in some lady's house. While travling around Don showed us all around the area. In all honesty we could have been driving in circles for all I know. The "Main" roads are paved and the "Back" roads are mostly gravel, both of which are winding through the "Hills" also known as mountains. Don took us by his church which also has a private christian school in it. He apparently helped start the school and was principle (along with being a vet) for two years. We got to meet his pastor, which was cool, Theo is from the Carribean and has a strong accent. Fun to find in rural Pa. We also meet the guys at the local gaurage when we had to stop in and have a new hose put on Don's truck. I have to say one thing about Don and Tina (his wife) they have 9 children, one is a preacher, one is a vet, one is in vet school, one is in med school, one is going to Cornell, two are still in high school, and I can't remember what the other two do, but the point being that all 9 of these kids went to a tiny private school in back woods PA and they are all going to be very successful. If nothing else it shows that you can do anything you put your mind to, no matter where you come from, or how much money you have. They are an impressive family in many ways. I really enjoyed getting to know them.

As the day wrapped up with dinner at Ben's where they severed sweet tea for us, they basically put the ball in Doug's court. The job is his if he wants it. This is really good news, but a big decision to make.

PS. There is absolutely nothing there, at least not anything chain.

Day One - Oxford area.....

I crawled out of the bed this morning with my body feeling the effect of my 14 trip from Raleigh to Pennsylvania. It was a rough and slow start to the day. We left the Nottingham Inn, which reminded me of the movie Nottingham with Julie Roberts. We headed to the "Post House Family Restaurant" for breakfast. Then it was in the car for a day full of driving. We drove all around the country side and surrounding towns. Got to see a covered bridge that we drove through, lots of Amish farms, and a sign that stated "Duck crossing". The sign inspired me to start a collection of all the odd signs that you see in PA. So far I have found some funny ones, and some others like Scranton, since I am a "The Office" fan. I enjoyed driving through Scranton, it kinda made me want to go work for Dunder Mifflin. I was sad that there were no Amish folk out and about, but it was kind of rainy and foggy this morning, but I did see there farms with buggies outside.

After hours of circle Chester County we started head north. We are staying in Sayre at a B&B tonight. The clinic that Doug interviewed at the other week and we are visiting tomorrow is putting us up here for the night. It's pretty sweet place. It's seriously 5 minutes from New York State. We actually drove from Pa through part of NY to come back in to PA. It kind of made me laugh, but that was the quickest way, says our GPS. So once we got here we checked in, brought up our stuff and then headed out to find some dinner. After dinner we had a drink in the bar down stairs. Who know B&B's has bars. Well it has a restaurant too, but very expensive. Now we are hanging out in the room watching Jurassic Park 3 and I am of course typing. Tomorrow we are heading to the clinic and then riding around with one of the vet's while he works. I am pretty excited to get to go with him so I can see the area and what Doug would possibly be doing. For now, I am going to bed, stay tuned for more updates on my trip.....

Train Train.....

Tuesday was the start of my Tour de Pennsylvania. I arrived at the train station in downtown Raleigh roughly around 6 am. Anxiety filled the air. There are several reason for the over whelming feelings going through my head. A) I don't usually travel to unknown places by myself, B) I have never ridden a train in my life, C) I had to make it to Philadelphia get off, get on another train that would then drop me off in Parkesburg, PA, which was nothing but a platform and shelter. To prove Doug's theory that I am just like my mother, I meet a nice lady as we were boarding in Raleigh. Her name was Carol and she was about the same age as mom. She was from Middletown, NJ and had been in New Bern, NC visiting her sister who had surgery last week. I think at this point I could pretty much tell you anything you want to know about the woman. For instance, she was laid off from her 25 years a small news paper in NJ, she now works at a nursing home and as long as she doesn't work more than 32 hours she can still get un-employment. She is divorced and has a daughter and grand daughter who is 3. You can learn a lot about some one on a 8 hour train ride.

The train ride was fun, not a bad way to travel. I have to say I was surprised at the amount of people on the train. Who know so many people traveled by train. Saw some interesting things; had a guy want me to take a picture of him, when I smiled and keep walking he asked "hey, you don't want to take a picture of a nice looking guy?" I just laughed and continued back to my seat. A lady next to me called her estranged brother to tell him that their other brother was dying in UNC, I gathered that he didn't much care. The train station in Philly is very nice. Not a bad place to have to hang out for a few hours. I didn't venture away but I did go outside walk around the building which takes up the entire block and took some pictures. Of course, I hadn't been there for 10 minutes and had a guy about my age ask me for money. Well he never got to the asking part, as soon as he said "excuse me miss, I'm having a bad day" my immediate response was "and I don't have any money" he walked away before I could finish. The Parkesburg stop was a concrete step off the train onto a dirt platform with a shelter. Since it was dark I was glad that Doug was there waiting. Of course I did threaten to divorce him if he made me sit in the dark in a city I know nothing about, and I had seen on the Internet there was nothing at the stop.

So over all, a long day but it was full of interesting moments. I will be posting tons of picture from my trip on flickr when I get back to Raleigh.

I say no to pettines....

Do you ever wonder what makes people tick? I often find myself ask that very question.

There are a lot of things in life that I can pass by without a single thought. Somethings make me ponder. For instance, why people feel the need to be petty. In all the things that are wrong in the world, it amazes me the little things that can set someone off. I am guilty of complaining from time to time, but somethings just seem pointless in my eyes.

I had someone get up set with me because of something that I had nothing to do with. I simply tried to explain that not all things in life are right and just, but they are that which they have become. I guess it wasn't the right answer, or at least the answer they wanted to hear. The complaint was that no one told them, yet they did not ask. I do not stand to judge who was right, but simply walked away. I can not surround my self with negativity and pettiness. It was all very immature in my opinion. I feel like most things in life are not as we plan. But it is not our plan to be had. As I was reading Philippians I came across a verse that made me think of this very case. It made me realize that my view, through God, was correct. "Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, Children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among who you may shine as the light of the world.." Philippians 2:14-15
It makes me sad sometimes to see the suffering that people must feel, to lash out in such a way, as to be hurtful to the innocent for your own self gain.

On another note, I wanted to share another verse that fits the stress I have been feeling lately. I have said before that I have continued to pray that all things will work out for Doug and I and this verse gave me peace. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus..." Philippians 4:6-7

Train ride......

Part of me will be very glad to see June come. Being a creature of pure habit does not go well with up rooting everything you know and moving four states away. There are two characters I seem to play these days. The first, Excited! This generally comes when I am not bombarded with a million other things not pertaining to moving. It's fun to think about the endless possibilities that God offers us everyday. I am excited to go out and do something different. To step out of my box that's safe and warm. I am sure that there are people who doubt my decision, based on the fact it's not something I would have normally done. Of course, I will miss my family, but I am happy to be going. And believe it or not, it was actually my decision to move. Doug had written off the idea of ever living somewhere different years ago.

Then there is the second character. Chaos! It is a mixture of stress, worry, confusion, ect. There are so many things that need to go right at the same time that it almost seems impossible. Hence the "Chaos" in my head. I am hoping that some of this will disappear after our trip to Pa next week. At least then I will be able to see the potential places that we will be living. And I am excited about my train ride up to meet Doug after his next interview.

I have spent more time talking to God in the past three weeks, than I have in a long time. I keep looking for answer and I figure that's a pretty good place to start. One thing that had been bothering me was having to be left behind for a month after Doug went up to start working. I had made an agreement with my boss that I would stay and cover the office while her and the other managers went to a conference in Florida. It was a quick decision that I made based on the fact that I need a job until I don't and I can't afford to lose mine before I am ready to move. So I agreed to stay behind until July. Once I had time to think it over, that made a mess of everything, but I had given my word and won't break it. Fortunately, the other day, my boss pulled me aside to let me know she had thought over our agreement and feels that it would be better on me to go with Doug when he leaves and not stay behind. This came after he had been gone for two weeks and apparently I was behaving like my normal self. I was being short with people, opps! All I could think during this conversation is how it seemed like she had been listening to all my prayers. I finally had an answer that made sense. One that has released a lot of stress off of this whole situation.

welcome home....

I haven't been on the internet much this weekend, since Doug's return home.

I got the best call around 5:30am Friday morning. When I saw the caller ID, I thought that Doug was up and heading on his second leg of the "return home" trip. I had talked to him just before bed Thursday night and he was going to drive a bit further then find a hotel for the night. So I was surprised when he called to tell me that he was only about a mile down the road. I love him for not just showing up, he knows that I would have had a panic attack if I heard someone coming in the house in the middle of the night. After the week I had been having, it was such a good start to my Friday, to have him come curl up in bed and cuddle with before I had to get ready for work. Of course, the dogs were not happy to have to share the space they had claimed for two weeks. (They are only allowed to sleep in the bed when Doug is gone, so they won't bark all night) Then even though he had only had about four hours of sleep, after I left for work, he came and had lunch with me at work. He is such a sweet husband.

I have to say I did have a slight moment that was upset that he drove all night. Only because I was afraid he would fall asleep at the wheel. Anyone who really knows Doug, knows that I always drive home at night. He has the "baby syndrome", when it's dark and you put him in the car, he falls sleep. I couldn't stay upset at all though once he walked in the door, and it was a struggle to make myself go to work. I could have just stayed in bed with him all day. I always miss him so much when he is gone, but so excited to see him when he returns.

So excited.....

Tomorrow Doug comes home from PA. He has been there interviewing for two weeks. I can not wait to see him. It's crazy who much I miss that boy when he is gone. I hope that one day in the future I will be able to travel with him and not have to always stay behind. I guess for now some one has to make money so we can pay the bills.

Just to fill any one in, Doug and I are trying to move to PA in the summer. We have decided that this is the time in our lives to go out and do something different. No kids, no mortgage, no strings really. Of course our family is here, and we will miss them, but I feel that it will be a great experience to go live somewhere else for a while. I was totally against this idea in the beginning but the more I think about it the more it excites me to travel and live in a different culture. I hear there are lots of Amish in PA. That could be interesting. Snow will be fun to experience as well, I don't really consider the annoying dust of powder here snow. It's annoying because everything shuts down and people panic in 1/4" on snow. I have always loved it, on our trips to VT, the amount of snow the north gets. I am sure that it can be annoying there too, but at least life goes on. Maybe for once in life I will have a "white Christmas".

Well wish us luck that some kind of offers roll in, in the next few weeks. We will be traveling up again March 10 thru 15th so that I can see the place that we may potentially move. On that note, we are looking for dog sitters for that time if anyone is interested in helping out.

Do you get me.....

If there is any one thing that I know, it's who I am.

I don't think that people always get me. Random often describes my train of thought. I am a wife, daughter, sister, and shoulder to lean on and a supporter of your dreams. I am strong and open to the world around me. Generally I am a very happy, easy flowing person. But I am human, and I have my days just like the rest of the world, which means I get stressed too. As much as I like to be the rock that hold the foundation, sometimes the pressure of the walls I hold become heavy on my shoulders. It doesn't mean that I can't hold my own, but merely that cracks sometimes have to be repaired.

I say all this because lately I guess people, who maybe don't fully understand me, see my cracks as a sign of weakness. And maybe that is rightfully so. In all of my life experiences I have learned the valuable lesson that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. That statement doesn't make tough times any easier, only that you will survive. I know that I am a survivor, and can with stand the test of time. It is easy to run from the issues that worry us the most. I often think of running, but I do not run, I stand my ground and face the storm head on.

As a solitary person it is sometimes hard to allow for people to help. It is in my nature to handle things on my own, to stand in the open field while the rain pounds the ground on which I stand. I plant my feet, hold my head up high to the clouds and watch them pass by. And in the end, I am there, a little more weathered, but still true to the one person I know. Me.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so you appreciate when they are right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. And sometimes things fall apart, so that things can fall together." Marilyn Monroe

Happy Valentine's Day....

As a married woman most people would think that I would be spending my Valentines with my husband. That is not the case this year. I actually have two boys as my Valentines. Since Doug is out of town my two wonderful nephews are going to be my Valentine's! Two is better than one anyway, right? Unfortunately, Doug could not be around for V-day this year since he is off traveling PA in search for the perfect job. Today he was headed to Gettysburg to visit the attractions. He doesn't have any interviews this weekend, so he is trying to get some fun in his adventure. But even though we cannot be together for the Hallmark Holiday, I know that I am loved by someone very special everyday of my life! And that is the best gift I could ever ask for.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

People do good things...

I wanted to share how proud I am of my brother. In the world we live in, people could devote their time to complaining about politics or economic hardships, but Shannon devotes his time to those who barely have a roof over their head, if even that. I have blogged before about the lack of clean water around the world and my brother is one of many who are trying to help out those in need. The goal....to drill a well in Kenya. I admire the devotion that he has to making this happen.

On Thursday, Shannon attending the twitter festival in Raleigh. The video below is Shannon talking about his mission at the festival....



If you want more information about the efforts and how you can help, please contact Shannon @ info@dynamicwater.org "If everyone gave a little, a lot of people could make a big difference"

A week in my life....

Do you ever get the feeling that "when it rains, it pours?"

I started off 2009 feeling pretty good about things. Everything just seemed to be working itself out and going smooth. Well, I made it about a month and half and everything seems to be falling apart all around me.

Work....
I the past two weeks work has been crazier than it has ever been there. I love my job and this is the first time that I have felt truely stressed there and wanted to run away. It has been a snowball effect the past two weeks. Just one thing after another.

Life....
But on top of all the work stuff, I am trying to figure out all of the things that have to happen in the next few months. As most people know by now, Doug and I are planning to move after he graduates in May. He is interviewing in Pennsylvania right now at four different clinics. We had decided to stay in the North East, due to him wanted to work with cows and me not wanting to be outside of driving distance from NC. I have known for months that this was coming but it hasn't set in until the past couple of weeks. It always seemed so far away that I didn't really think about it and now it feels like it is right around the corner.
I am not worried about living somewhere else, but I am stressing about all the details and things that have to go into getting there. I have agreed to stay at my job until after the my boss gets back from a conference in FL on June 20th and Doug wants to start June 1st, which means that I will being staying behind for at least three weeks. Then there is only a week between the time I would quit and the week that I will be at HRUMC camp, so it doesn't really make since to drive to PA for one week to come back to NC for a week to then drive back to PA. So it is likely that I will go 5 weeks without seeing Doug. The most that we have ever been apart at any given time is 2 weeks. I just don't know how I feel about 5 weeks? Then there is the fact that some how mixed in with graduation, the trip to the beach and Doug starting his job, we have to find a place to live and move all of our stuff. How does that even work? How do you find a place to live, when you are 7 hours away with 2 dogs and a cat? This should all be very interesting.

The nice things is, in all of this, I have my faith in God and know that it will work out the way that He intends for it to be. It does humor me a little that the more I seem to pray about these things, the more they seem to get more complicated. Oh the irony!

Photo Shoot....

I was asked today to do a photo shoot for an album cover. Pretty cool ay! I am excited and kind of nervous at the same time. I love photography and as most of you know, I have been taking classes and trying to learn. But I have never been asked to do something special for someone.

Kelz, from 154, is working on a solo album and asked me to help him out with the cover art. I am really excited about the experience and love his ideas. The title of the album is "Reborn" and symbolizes him being reborn as a solo artist. The plan is to do the shoot in the water. I don't want to give away too much since I don't know if anyone really knows what he is up too, but the plans sound like a lot of fun. We plan to do the shoot next weekend and that means some prep on my end. I have some ideas of my own, so hopefully between the two of us this will turn out to be pretty cool. There is also a plan to have the whole shoot filmed and will later be posted on his website when that is up and running. Then you all can see me in "action" so to speak. He wants me to talk a little bit about the process of the shoot in the video. It's kind of making me feel like a real photographer.

Of course, as soon as I agreed the nerves kind of kick in. I want this to be awsome for him and me. I know that I have taken some great pictures but there are always a lot that get weeded out. My plan is to just go in and take as many frames as I can so that we have more to work with. Then we can edit them and hopefully get the best album cover ever! So wish me luck on my adventure!

word to the wise....

It is wise when running on a treadmill to not bend down and save the ipod that is flying toward your feet. I learned this yesterday in my almost first treadmill accident.

I was just running along and some how hit the cord to my headphones. Of course, this sent the ipod flying toward my feet. Luckily, my ipod is in a case and it did not get hurt in this event. But instinctively, when it went flying toward my feet, I tried to bend down and get it without getting off the treadmill first. You know how people always say "it happened so fast" well it did and the thought to jump off didn't fit in the small amount of time. I am very glad that the treadmill has handles, otherwise, I may have road rash on my face. And I have to say that I was glad at the time that Doug was not home to see or hear this craziness that seemed to be happening.

All and all everything turned out fine. I managed to get off the treadmill, not really by my own choice, and the ipod landed on the dog bed next to me and still works. But I thought I would share my funny story from yesterday and maybe make you smile today!

I turn my head away from the world....

I apologize now, but this post may seem "jumpy". My mind was in one place I started typing and keeps switching to all the different thoughts swimming in my head.

So I have talked to many people who love the movie "Marley and Me" but they all cry at the end. I am one of those people. It such a great story of a love for your pet, and the heartbreak of losing that part of your family. It just tugs on your heart to feel the pain that they are going through. Being an animal lover myself I can see where the pain comes from. If anything happened to any of my animals I would feel the same. Although it is just a movie, we are moved by it. So why are we not moved by the real things in life?

I watch videos and hear about the things that go on around the world and I can not help but feel the pain and sorrow for those who suffer everyday. But I cannot help but think that I turn a blind eye to the world that really exist. I feel this way, because I see it happen, but do nothing to change it. I hide in my world of food, clothing and shelter. I don't consider myself a bad person. I do good by other, and try to stay as honest as I can. But isn't there more that I could be doing, that we all could be doing? If I had money I would like to think that I would give it to those who needed. I am not a vain person, and do not need fancy things to fill some void in my life. But money is not something that I have to give. My heart tells me that I want to help. I want to feel that my life is purpose driven. That there is some greater good to my being than to simply sit around and complain about the random things that go wrong in a days time. Where do I go from here.........

I feel like 2009 is a year for change. Not based on any political stand, but from my soul. I feel like I am finally opening my eyes that it is time for change within myself. Part of that is a quest to better myself physically. I am trying to get healthier and back in shape. The other part is that I feel more draw than ever in my life to do something good for the betterment of humanity. I hate looking at the way people are these days, how they treat each other, and how disrespectful people are and just think it needs to change. I cannot at this point see myself bringing a child in to the world we live in. It's not a pretty place. I am sure that I will change my mind about having a child in a few years, but it seems like such a battle to raise a decent person when everything they face will tell them to be otherwise. I especially have a problem with the way that teenagers act. I don't think I was that bad, but they are just plain out rude these days. God bless all you teachers, your have a better heart than me. I think I may be tempted by the devil if I had to teach kids, "thou shall not kill" right?

I don't know where all of this is heading but I will figure it out along the way.........

Juggling Update

I wish I could say that my learning to juggle is going better, but I am only up to being about to "juggle" 12 times without dropping a ball. And I cannot do that every time. My goal Matt set was 20 times before Monday night, but I don't know if I will be meeting my goal. On a good note, I don't know that I will be making the Bachelor this week, which means I have another week to practice before I will see Matt again. I had good plans to learn this week, but now it's Friday and I don't even know where the week has gone. With baby showers and Super Bowl Parties I don't know how much time there will be for practice this weekend. But I am not giving up, I will learn to juggle one day.

Treadmill

So I bought my first item off Craig's List one Wednesday. I decided that I wanted to buy a treadmill and found a pretty sweet deal on CL. The lady I bought it from, got it from a friend and only used it twice in six months, so she decided to sale it. I am pretty excited. The model that it is cost $900 new and I got it for $275. I do actually plan on using it, at this point. I have only used it once so far. My plan was to start out with an every other day routine, since I am seriously out of shape. Then maybe work in to an almost everyday event. I have been thinking about the idea for several months, but couldn't bring myself to spend the money. It wasn't until my sister and I went to the mall the other week and I decided to buy a pair of jeans that I liked. It wasn't so much the jeans, but the fact that I had to go up a size. I wish I could say it was the brand that just ran a little different. Unfortunately, I have been squeezing into the same ole' jeans and I probably should not be doing that. At least I am sure that's what people who don't know me probably think when I walk by! So the plan is to lose some weight more so I can continue to wear my clothes I already have and not have to buy new ones a little bigger. Plus, I guess it's always good to be healthy. Hopefully it will not turn in to some kind of clothes hanger. If that is the case I may be bloging to see if anyone wants to buy a treadmill for $265!

A congrats to my husband....

The past four years have been a journey! There have been long hours and little time to spend together. It has been some of the best times and some of the hardest times of my life. Through it all there has been one common goal, for Doug to become a Vet, his dream. I always find it amazing to meet someone who has a dream and is getting to live it. Maybe that seems a little odd, but I feel like there are plenty of people out there like me who just live. I am neither coming nor going, I sometimes feel. I just am! Doug has always been a different path. A path leading him to his dream of help God's creatures who can not speak for themselves. I have tried to stand by and be the most supportive wife that one can be. I would consider myself very successful in that venture. (There have been moments that would disagree, but we all have moments, right?)

Today we got good news, as some of you already know, Doug passed his National Boards. Basically this means that A) we don't have to pay $600 more dollars to retake the test and B) most importantly, that he can be a vet. That all given that he passes NC Boards, and possible another state board, if we do in fact move out of state. I know that everyone does not live in this crazy cow world with us, but it's a pretty big deal. There is actually a good percentage of people each year that do not pass and have to retake it. I am so proud of everything that he has accomplished, not just this one test. He is very intelligent and witty sometimes too!

Conragts to all of those who found out today that their dream can continue to come true! Keep on living it! I am a supporter of your dreams! Rock on!

Juggling

So I had my usually Monday night event of watching the Bachelor over at my friend Erin's! Her husband Matt is a pretty awsome juggler! He was also my brother first roommate in college, random trivia! So Matt was trying to teach me how to juggle. I must say it looks a lot easier coming from someone who can juggle 4 or 5 at a time.

So now I have a new mission in life, we at least in 2009, or January, who knows. Matt let me borrow a couple of his juggling balls to practice. Thanks Matt! I have a goal of learning to throw 20 time before next Monday's Bachelor showing. Maybe one day I can make it to keeping three balls in the air at one time since I think that's when it counts as actually juggling. Details! It could prove to be interesting to learn at home. When I showed Doug and was telling him about it, immediately my dogs thought that I brought them home a new toy! Maybe it adds to the skill, learning to juggle and keep them away from the dogs at the same time. I guess it means I have to focus more and drop them less.

Plan B

With dvr, I don't really ever watch commercials these days. But I decided to go a head and watch The Soup in real time to night. While I was waiting for the endless amount of commercials to pass, I saw one advertising "Plan B". Which in turn is really "the morning after pill". I a bit disturbed that we now advertise openly, on a channel that I am sure millions of young girls watch, that you can simple go sleep with who ever you want, and oh by the way when "your birth control fails" just come stop by your local pharmacy and pick up Plan B. They do so graciously state in the commercial that it is not for abortion, that you should take it with in 72 hours. Maybe it's just me, but this bothers me. In a time where the teenage pregnancy rate is out the roof, let's just make one more thing to make kids think it's okay to have sex. I mean really, all the will get out of the commercial is I can do it because it won't happen to me, and if I think for some strange reason it may have happened to me, I'll just run by CVS on my way home and take care of that. Why don't we start making people live up to what they teach their kids, and kids live up to the fact that if you want to be stupid then deal with the consciquences. Who knew that one commercial could be so disturbing on so many levels. And I am "sure" the pharmicutical company making this drug had the "best" of intentions when promoting. Not that any young irresponsible kids would use it as a way to fix their mistakes. Personally, you have to lay in the bed you make.

Thanks for checking me out.....

I would not claim to be anything more than a normal girl, living my life. But every now and then something inspires me and I want to share my thoughts. So on that note, I am starting a blog. I have always been a fan of social networking on the internet via, myspace, facebook, twitter, ect. So why not start a blog to? So please feel free to follow my blog and comment as you may. I always love feedback.

Carpe Diem

What would you give for a drink of water?

It's a question that I have never really thought about, but what would you do for a drink of water, if there were no water to be had?

I often classify myself as being poor. Purely a financial classification. With Doug in school and me working hard to make so little, seems like poor would be an appropriate term. But I have never had to worry about where I am sleeping at night, where my next meal is coming from, or if there is clean water for me to drink. I learned today that 1 in 6 people in the world do not have clean water. That number is amazing to me, astonishing actually. All of the millions and millions of people in the world and only 1 out 6 can quench their thirst with no worry about disease, or bacteria. I often turn my nose up at the fact of drinking water. The lack of flavor is not that appealing to me. But what would I do if the choice was not there. And not only the fact of drinking a glass of water, but bathing, cooking, and cleaning. How many times have you thought about the fact that water plays such and important part of your life when you wake up in the morning to brush your teeth and take a shower to prepare for the day? I know that I don't. I usually am more interested in complaining about going to work, than worrying about whether or not the water will turn on. I could hardly imagine having to walk miles just to get a bucket full at a time.

I don't know a whole lot about the efforts around the world to end poverty, but I have come across, thanks to my brother's blog, Charity:Water http://www.charitywater.org/ It inspired me today to not take for granted all the things I am lucky to have.