I turn my head away from the world....

I apologize now, but this post may seem "jumpy". My mind was in one place I started typing and keeps switching to all the different thoughts swimming in my head.

So I have talked to many people who love the movie "Marley and Me" but they all cry at the end. I am one of those people. It such a great story of a love for your pet, and the heartbreak of losing that part of your family. It just tugs on your heart to feel the pain that they are going through. Being an animal lover myself I can see where the pain comes from. If anything happened to any of my animals I would feel the same. Although it is just a movie, we are moved by it. So why are we not moved by the real things in life?

I watch videos and hear about the things that go on around the world and I can not help but feel the pain and sorrow for those who suffer everyday. But I cannot help but think that I turn a blind eye to the world that really exist. I feel this way, because I see it happen, but do nothing to change it. I hide in my world of food, clothing and shelter. I don't consider myself a bad person. I do good by other, and try to stay as honest as I can. But isn't there more that I could be doing, that we all could be doing? If I had money I would like to think that I would give it to those who needed. I am not a vain person, and do not need fancy things to fill some void in my life. But money is not something that I have to give. My heart tells me that I want to help. I want to feel that my life is purpose driven. That there is some greater good to my being than to simply sit around and complain about the random things that go wrong in a days time. Where do I go from here.........

I feel like 2009 is a year for change. Not based on any political stand, but from my soul. I feel like I am finally opening my eyes that it is time for change within myself. Part of that is a quest to better myself physically. I am trying to get healthier and back in shape. The other part is that I feel more draw than ever in my life to do something good for the betterment of humanity. I hate looking at the way people are these days, how they treat each other, and how disrespectful people are and just think it needs to change. I cannot at this point see myself bringing a child in to the world we live in. It's not a pretty place. I am sure that I will change my mind about having a child in a few years, but it seems like such a battle to raise a decent person when everything they face will tell them to be otherwise. I especially have a problem with the way that teenagers act. I don't think I was that bad, but they are just plain out rude these days. God bless all you teachers, your have a better heart than me. I think I may be tempted by the devil if I had to teach kids, "thou shall not kill" right?

I don't know where all of this is heading but I will figure it out along the way.........