I turn my head away from the world....

I apologize now, but this post may seem "jumpy". My mind was in one place I started typing and keeps switching to all the different thoughts swimming in my head.

So I have talked to many people who love the movie "Marley and Me" but they all cry at the end. I am one of those people. It such a great story of a love for your pet, and the heartbreak of losing that part of your family. It just tugs on your heart to feel the pain that they are going through. Being an animal lover myself I can see where the pain comes from. If anything happened to any of my animals I would feel the same. Although it is just a movie, we are moved by it. So why are we not moved by the real things in life?

I watch videos and hear about the things that go on around the world and I can not help but feel the pain and sorrow for those who suffer everyday. But I cannot help but think that I turn a blind eye to the world that really exist. I feel this way, because I see it happen, but do nothing to change it. I hide in my world of food, clothing and shelter. I don't consider myself a bad person. I do good by other, and try to stay as honest as I can. But isn't there more that I could be doing, that we all could be doing? If I had money I would like to think that I would give it to those who needed. I am not a vain person, and do not need fancy things to fill some void in my life. But money is not something that I have to give. My heart tells me that I want to help. I want to feel that my life is purpose driven. That there is some greater good to my being than to simply sit around and complain about the random things that go wrong in a days time. Where do I go from here.........

I feel like 2009 is a year for change. Not based on any political stand, but from my soul. I feel like I am finally opening my eyes that it is time for change within myself. Part of that is a quest to better myself physically. I am trying to get healthier and back in shape. The other part is that I feel more draw than ever in my life to do something good for the betterment of humanity. I hate looking at the way people are these days, how they treat each other, and how disrespectful people are and just think it needs to change. I cannot at this point see myself bringing a child in to the world we live in. It's not a pretty place. I am sure that I will change my mind about having a child in a few years, but it seems like such a battle to raise a decent person when everything they face will tell them to be otherwise. I especially have a problem with the way that teenagers act. I don't think I was that bad, but they are just plain out rude these days. God bless all you teachers, your have a better heart than me. I think I may be tempted by the devil if I had to teach kids, "thou shall not kill" right?

I don't know where all of this is heading but I will figure it out along the way.........

Juggling Update

I wish I could say that my learning to juggle is going better, but I am only up to being about to "juggle" 12 times without dropping a ball. And I cannot do that every time. My goal Matt set was 20 times before Monday night, but I don't know if I will be meeting my goal. On a good note, I don't know that I will be making the Bachelor this week, which means I have another week to practice before I will see Matt again. I had good plans to learn this week, but now it's Friday and I don't even know where the week has gone. With baby showers and Super Bowl Parties I don't know how much time there will be for practice this weekend. But I am not giving up, I will learn to juggle one day.

Treadmill

So I bought my first item off Craig's List one Wednesday. I decided that I wanted to buy a treadmill and found a pretty sweet deal on CL. The lady I bought it from, got it from a friend and only used it twice in six months, so she decided to sale it. I am pretty excited. The model that it is cost $900 new and I got it for $275. I do actually plan on using it, at this point. I have only used it once so far. My plan was to start out with an every other day routine, since I am seriously out of shape. Then maybe work in to an almost everyday event. I have been thinking about the idea for several months, but couldn't bring myself to spend the money. It wasn't until my sister and I went to the mall the other week and I decided to buy a pair of jeans that I liked. It wasn't so much the jeans, but the fact that I had to go up a size. I wish I could say it was the brand that just ran a little different. Unfortunately, I have been squeezing into the same ole' jeans and I probably should not be doing that. At least I am sure that's what people who don't know me probably think when I walk by! So the plan is to lose some weight more so I can continue to wear my clothes I already have and not have to buy new ones a little bigger. Plus, I guess it's always good to be healthy. Hopefully it will not turn in to some kind of clothes hanger. If that is the case I may be bloging to see if anyone wants to buy a treadmill for $265!

A congrats to my husband....

The past four years have been a journey! There have been long hours and little time to spend together. It has been some of the best times and some of the hardest times of my life. Through it all there has been one common goal, for Doug to become a Vet, his dream. I always find it amazing to meet someone who has a dream and is getting to live it. Maybe that seems a little odd, but I feel like there are plenty of people out there like me who just live. I am neither coming nor going, I sometimes feel. I just am! Doug has always been a different path. A path leading him to his dream of help God's creatures who can not speak for themselves. I have tried to stand by and be the most supportive wife that one can be. I would consider myself very successful in that venture. (There have been moments that would disagree, but we all have moments, right?)

Today we got good news, as some of you already know, Doug passed his National Boards. Basically this means that A) we don't have to pay $600 more dollars to retake the test and B) most importantly, that he can be a vet. That all given that he passes NC Boards, and possible another state board, if we do in fact move out of state. I know that everyone does not live in this crazy cow world with us, but it's a pretty big deal. There is actually a good percentage of people each year that do not pass and have to retake it. I am so proud of everything that he has accomplished, not just this one test. He is very intelligent and witty sometimes too!

Conragts to all of those who found out today that their dream can continue to come true! Keep on living it! I am a supporter of your dreams! Rock on!

Juggling

So I had my usually Monday night event of watching the Bachelor over at my friend Erin's! Her husband Matt is a pretty awsome juggler! He was also my brother first roommate in college, random trivia! So Matt was trying to teach me how to juggle. I must say it looks a lot easier coming from someone who can juggle 4 or 5 at a time.

So now I have a new mission in life, we at least in 2009, or January, who knows. Matt let me borrow a couple of his juggling balls to practice. Thanks Matt! I have a goal of learning to throw 20 time before next Monday's Bachelor showing. Maybe one day I can make it to keeping three balls in the air at one time since I think that's when it counts as actually juggling. Details! It could prove to be interesting to learn at home. When I showed Doug and was telling him about it, immediately my dogs thought that I brought them home a new toy! Maybe it adds to the skill, learning to juggle and keep them away from the dogs at the same time. I guess it means I have to focus more and drop them less.

Plan B

With dvr, I don't really ever watch commercials these days. But I decided to go a head and watch The Soup in real time to night. While I was waiting for the endless amount of commercials to pass, I saw one advertising "Plan B". Which in turn is really "the morning after pill". I a bit disturbed that we now advertise openly, on a channel that I am sure millions of young girls watch, that you can simple go sleep with who ever you want, and oh by the way when "your birth control fails" just come stop by your local pharmacy and pick up Plan B. They do so graciously state in the commercial that it is not for abortion, that you should take it with in 72 hours. Maybe it's just me, but this bothers me. In a time where the teenage pregnancy rate is out the roof, let's just make one more thing to make kids think it's okay to have sex. I mean really, all the will get out of the commercial is I can do it because it won't happen to me, and if I think for some strange reason it may have happened to me, I'll just run by CVS on my way home and take care of that. Why don't we start making people live up to what they teach their kids, and kids live up to the fact that if you want to be stupid then deal with the consciquences. Who knew that one commercial could be so disturbing on so many levels. And I am "sure" the pharmicutical company making this drug had the "best" of intentions when promoting. Not that any young irresponsible kids would use it as a way to fix their mistakes. Personally, you have to lay in the bed you make.

Thanks for checking me out.....

I would not claim to be anything more than a normal girl, living my life. But every now and then something inspires me and I want to share my thoughts. So on that note, I am starting a blog. I have always been a fan of social networking on the internet via, myspace, facebook, twitter, ect. So why not start a blog to? So please feel free to follow my blog and comment as you may. I always love feedback.

Carpe Diem

What would you give for a drink of water?

It's a question that I have never really thought about, but what would you do for a drink of water, if there were no water to be had?

I often classify myself as being poor. Purely a financial classification. With Doug in school and me working hard to make so little, seems like poor would be an appropriate term. But I have never had to worry about where I am sleeping at night, where my next meal is coming from, or if there is clean water for me to drink. I learned today that 1 in 6 people in the world do not have clean water. That number is amazing to me, astonishing actually. All of the millions and millions of people in the world and only 1 out 6 can quench their thirst with no worry about disease, or bacteria. I often turn my nose up at the fact of drinking water. The lack of flavor is not that appealing to me. But what would I do if the choice was not there. And not only the fact of drinking a glass of water, but bathing, cooking, and cleaning. How many times have you thought about the fact that water plays such and important part of your life when you wake up in the morning to brush your teeth and take a shower to prepare for the day? I know that I don't. I usually am more interested in complaining about going to work, than worrying about whether or not the water will turn on. I could hardly imagine having to walk miles just to get a bucket full at a time.

I don't know a whole lot about the efforts around the world to end poverty, but I have come across, thanks to my brother's blog, Charity:Water http://www.charitywater.org/ It inspired me today to not take for granted all the things I am lucky to have.